A Paper Girl in a Paper Town

So the other day, I was reading this book by John Green called 'Paper Towns'. I was so affected by the book that I couldn't stop thinking about it. We all spend so much of time worrying and debating over trivial things that we dont even realise that none of these things will even matter after some time.
Most of our lives are superficial. They've always been. When we were six, we'd want pretty frocks. When we were ten, we wanted the latest toys. When we were twelve, we wondered if we were pretty enough. And now that we're a little older, we are ruled by insecurity.
Nobody's life is perfect. Trust me on this. Everybody out there is dealing with his/her own insecurities. And maybe that's why there are so many different parts to us. Are you who your family thinks of you to be? Are you what your friends expect you to be? Are you who you want to be? Or are you just you, open to perceptions?
I'm not saying I'm any better. I'm just a paper girl in a paper town. Two minutes after writing this, I'll probably go back to obsessing over my hair. Most of my life is superficial. I worry about things too much, I think endlessly, I judge too much and sometimes I wonder if everything is even worth it?
It is. And so I try.
Stop. Think. Breathe. Ask yourself if any of this even matters? You wont always get the things you want, you wont always be the best, and you wont always make the right decisions. But thats life. You're allowed to make mistakes. That's how you figure yourself out. Dont judge people so much. Just like you, they're struggling everyday too. Treat people like you'd want to be treated. And life will be good to you. Cuz trust me, we're all amazing. We're all unique. So quit worrying for a while. Whatever it is that you're thinking about, its gonna be okay. If not now, then after a while. Give it some time. Dream. Hope. Imagine.
Because if you dont even imagine it, how is it supposed to happen? We're all a little too hard on ourselves. C'mon, we all deserve a little credit for surviving this long, right? Loosen up. None of this matters. Someday you'll forget all about it. And meanwhile, figure things out. People love you. Your friends, your family - they adore you. Life's not as bad as it seems. In fact, its pretty close to perfect. You just have to live it like it is.

Moving on.

Sometimes in life, we come across some people. And before we can even make up our minds about them, they become a major part of our lives. Their judgment starts meaning a lot to us and we find ourselves captivated by them.

Sometimes, these feelings are returned, and sometimes they are not. We keep holding on to these relationships, but one day we realize that we’re the only ones holding on. That hurts. All those messages, phone calls and moments. We keep wondering if it ever meant anything to the other person. What sucks the most is that most of the times, we have an answer.

Nobody said that life would be easy. Nothing is permanent. All relationships have to come to an end one day. Even if not by choice, then by fate. And even if not then, then death will do you part someday. Moving on is hard. They say time heals all wounds. It doesn't. All it does is put a layer of dust over them. So that time and again, when you scrape through, the remains of the wound still remain – reminding you of everything that was.

The hardest part is figuring out what to do. Erase or forget? Do you throw those letters and scrapbooks in the bin and delete the pictures and messages or do you just let it be and try to get over it? I say, try the latter. Because deleting every evidence of your relationship would be like denying everything you had. And even if you do that, what happens to the memories? They will always remain. And everytime you hear that person’s name or think about them, it’ll all come rushing back.

I’m not saying that its easy. In fact, it’s the hardest thing in the world to move on. And even when you do, those feelings will never really go. They will always remain hidden underneath. But I guess, that’s the best any of us can do. I don’t know if talking or not talking to that person helps. But I feel it doesn’t. Because all you’re doing is trying to escape reality. But one day, you’ll have to face it.

It is better to be a friend than to mean nothing to that person at all. But keeping a little distance – at least till you’ve got yourself together – is a good idea. Try to keep yourself busy. Friends, family, work, school, assignments – they’re all good distractions. Your heart will do a little jump every time you see their name flash on your phone screen and you will be your happiest whenever you talk to them and you will always care for them. There’s no escaping that.

But life is weird. If it hasn’t happened, then it wasn’t supposed to. That person will always mean a lot to you and you will always wonder if doing one thing differently would have made any difference. Well, maybe it would have. You never know. And you cant blame yourself for it. So do yourself a favour, and stop thinking so much. Because that’s where life gets you. Thinking you have a choice. You don’t. What is meant to be will always find its way. Believe in that. And someday, one day – you’ll realize that you're moving on.

A bad day.

All of us have bad days. A failed test, a broken heart, a fight with a friend, or in my case, a debate gone wrong. We spend hours trying to figure out why the universe is so cruel to us. We keep wondering whether a different choice would have made things any more different. I'm neither a therapist nor a philosopher, so I wont tell you that it'll all be okay and the pain will go away. I'll be honest. It wont. You'll be angry, you'll be frustrated. You'll keep asking yourself why. Though, after a few hours, a few days, or a few weeks - it'll be okay. But the pain? It'll be there.
When we were young, we were taught that the world is a wonderful place. We'd read fairy-tales and we'd learn that there is always one villain in a story and the rest of the world is filled with good people.
But as we grow up, we realise that the world in reality, can be a very scary place. Most people are villains and only a few can be called heroes.
You wont always know who to trust and you wont always make the right choices. You'll screw up. You'll mess up. And then you'll have a bad day.
But what you need to do is tell yourself that you dont always screw up. That you're not always bad. In fact, you're better than what you give yourself credit for. Not all days will be favourable to you. If they are, then how will you appreciate the good ones?
Sometimes you deserve the bad day and sometimes you dont. Either way, you have to deal with it. Talking to your best friend helps a lot. You may think that they'll judge you, and you may be a little insecure, but trust me, there's nothing better than the feeling you get when your best friend's there for you. The next thing you can do is do something you like. For me that's cooking. So, whenever I'm having a bad day or I'm low on spirits, I take a trip to the kitchen. And believe me, you'll feel so much better. And at last, try to make a joke out of it. Life is short. The sooner you realise that, the better it will be for you.
That night, when you try to sleep, the events of the day will keep coming back to your mind. You'll try so hard to try to think about something else, but that wont work. So what I say is - think about it. Deal with the pain. The more you think about it, the easier it will get. And one day soon, you'll realise that that the thought of that day no longer makes you feel as bad as it did earlier. And the pain? It will have vanished.

Just a little hope.

Sometimes you feel like there's no way out. Like this is it. Like there's no going on from there. Like you'll always have to live with this. Trust me, I know how that feels.
But then you realise that these 'sometimes' dont last forever. That they're just a part of your otherwise great life. Because no matter how bad things go, no matter how hard it seems, you always have people who've got your back. You have friends; if not friends, you have family; and if not even family, then I guess all you have is hope.
And most of the times, that is enough. Because you never know what your future might hold. Today may be bad, but who knows? Tomorrow may be wonderful. And to give up on tomorrow, just because you're too scared to live for today, is just not fair.
And at the end of the day, nothing is permanent. Change, as they say, is the only constant in life. Two weeks, two months, two years from now - you wont even remember any of it. Eventually, people forget. They also forgive. Things change. And life goes on.
You need to find that one thing in you - the one thing that makes you want to believe, the one thing that makes you want to hope. Because no matter how bad things are, you know you'll always get out of it. You'll move on. Because there's no other way than that. The only good thing about hitting rock bottom is that there's no other way, but for you to go up from there. Because you should know - there will always, always be a better tomorrow. :)